Thursday, Dec 17, 2015

I'm on the list. I'm in the room.

That's what I should focus on. But it's hard. I say that often. Yet it's true.

I went to another holiday party tonight. I encountered many of the same people I talked to on Tuesday night. Hollywood is a tiny world, especially for colorful people. One would think we'd be better at supporting each other.

Networking functions are awkward when you don't know most of the people. Even when you do know people, it can be weird, with some of them constantly looking around the room for someone else more important than you, the person standing in front of them.

It's exhausting trying to exude confidence in a loud room with people who have actual jobs and little interest in talking with a writer who wants to become a corporate executive in an area where half of the most senior people are burnt out. Yeesh.

I thought to myself, maybe I should aspire instead to succeed as a writer of individual projects or the best SAT tutor or a college admissions counselor.

And then I thought of the latest episode of Amanda Seales's web series Get Your Life that I watched today, about black and blackish women performers all fighting for an unsatisfactory piece of the Hollywood acting pie. The pie piece was even smaller and sadder than the paltry supporting roles for a handful of underpaid white women.

Then I thought of my daughters someday looking at me at saying, "Mommy, how come no one looks like us on TV? I thought you were going to fix that. I can teach myself the SAT. It's reading and math. Can I have some money for the mall? I'm taking your car. kthxbai."

No home training.

So, yeah, increasing diversity in media is important, and it's something I have loved working in for over a decade. And, if I do it right, it could be economically and socially beneficial. Therefore, I should make a career in an area I love which is growing in population and media attention.

I need to have faith in abundance and help spread the word that there is room for everyone in media, not only for white men and what white men want.